What the In-laws Don't Know Won't Hurt Them (or maybe they do know)
by SageMasterofSass
Summary: Written for a certain meme on tumblr. You know the one.


A/N: So this is a request I received exactly one week ago! It took me ages but here we are with the finished product. It hasn't been beta'd so excuse the mess, but man did I have fun writing this. Probably too much fun.

I'm going to hell, who's coming with me?

* * *

"I hate you. I hate you so much right now."

Gon sighed, straightening his tie in the mirror with nimble fingers. "Don't be such a drama queen, Killua."

From his prostrate position on the bed Killua gave a low groan, his faced buried in the comforter and his limbs askew. He didn't offer anything else, making his position on the situation quite clear even when Gon turned away from the mirror with his hands on his hips. The Hunter rolled his eyes.

"Come here," he demanded in his best Aunt Mito voice. "Your suit is going to get all wrinkled like that."

The mother tone seemed to work, Killua dragging himself slowly off the bed with a pained groan. He stood still while Gon put his outfit in order and continued to do so even when Gon started playing with his hair, slicking it back and then fluffing it up. Eventually Killua batted his hands away, grumbling low under his breath.

"I can't believe you agreed to do this. You don't like them either, why would you say yes!?"

"It's one dinner, Killua. They asked really nicely, and they probably just want to apologize or something."

Killua responded with a grunt and a half muttered, "Obviously you don't know my family very well." He shook himself then, taking a step away from Gon, and then squared his shoulders.

"Whatever, let's just get this over with okay?"

(((())))

The Zoldyck mansion was a lot smaller than Gon remembered it. Maybe it was the fact that he was different now, stronger, or that he wasn't here on a mission to bring back his best friend, but whatever it was, the house just no longer seemed intimidating.

A servant greeted them at the door and led them down several dark, winding hallways into a dining room large enough to house an entire army. Despite this, the place was pretty bare with only a small table in the far corner surrounded by ten or so chairs. A great chandelier hung from the tall ceiling, but the candles that burned there were old and deformed, and dust and cobwebs gathered along the once gleaming metal.

Killua's family milled around the room, talking quietly with one another, but they all turned to greet Gon and Killua when they entered with formal bows and crisp words.

Dinner was a fairly cold affair; the food was served up on harsh silver platters and conversation was kept to a bare minimum. Gon really did most of the talking, recalling different adventures he and Killua had been on over the years. Killua, for his part, stared sullenly at his silverware.

About halfway through, however, Gon felt a distinct buzzing against his thigh. As discretely as possible he slipped his phone from his pocket and checked the text message he'd just received. It was from Killua.

_I want to suck your cock._

Gon turned to glare at the boy next to him, but Killua was now engaged in a quiet conversation with his father about nen and its different properties. Still, Gon could see the phone clutched in his left hand so he sent a quick text back.

_Now is a really bad time to be sexting._

He returned to his meal and listened intently to something Milluki was saying about online chat boards. The next message came only a few minutes later.

_Don't care. I want your dick inside me._

Gon wasn't one to get flustered or uncomfortable. Killua dirty talked him all the time so he was pretty used to this kind of language, but he still felt a faint blush rising to his cheeks anyways. Maybe it was the public setting. Either way he could feel a certain stirring down below his navel that he could only recognize as arousal.

His phone buzzed again.

_I'd take you in my mouth first and suck until you were begging to come and then I'd ride you so hard you saw stars._

For the next half hour he received a myriad of similar messages, read from his lap as he pretended to enjoy the awkward small talk and expensive, oddly tasting food.

_If I teased you enough would you take me against a wall like that one time?_

_I want you to pound into me from behind, press me into the mattress so that I can't touch myself and then I'll come on your dick alone._

_Did you know that you moan my name sometimes in your sleep? We can totally do whatever you were dreaming about._

_Do you remember that sex shop in that tiny town we passed through? We should go back and buy a vibrator and some handcuffs. I want to see how long I can last when you're teasing me._

_God I just want your cock so bad. I don't even care if it's my mouth or my ass anymore, I just want it._

_Just fill me up please. I'll even beg for you, Gon, just pull my hair and call me a slut._

_I can totally see your boner over there. Don't worry I'm the only one who can see it._

_Guess you're into the public thing then._

_Are you getting off on the idea of taking me in front of my family?_

_That's so perverted, Gon. Who knew you could be so dirty. I love it._

_What do you think my mother would say? She'd probably scream when I begged for you to give it to me harder._

_You know you're pretty good at hiding how hard you are. Just keep talking, act natural, I'm going to try something._

Killua excused himself from the table to use the restroom and Gon watched him leave apprehensively. What was he going to do, text him nudes pictures from the toilet? Somehow Gon didn't think so.

A moment later his question was answered when a warm hand slid up his thigh. He glanced down to see Killua's pale head of hair peeking out from under the tablecloth, guiding him forward to perch on the edge of his chair. How the hell did he even get down there? He literally left the room.

Another text came.

_Be quiet, okay? Wouldn't want to be caught with your dick out._

And sure enough Killua was sliding his zipper down soundlessly, pulling him free through thick layers of fabric. His aching cock hit cold air and he hissed, slightly, drawing attention to himself at the table.

Killua's father frowned. "Are you alright?"

A hot tongue laved up his length and then teased the slit and Gon blinked slowly, plastering a smile on his face and praying it wasn't too red. "I'm fine," he said, gulping down a moan as pleasure spiked through him with each lap of Killua's tongue.

"Are you sure? You're looking a little ill," Grandpa Zeno threw in, studying Gon from the other end of the table.

Killua pulled away for a moment, squeezing Gon's thigh, but then he was back and there was only heat, his mouth closing over Gon entirely.

"J-just a little hot is all," he managed to stutter in response, hands flying to grip the edge of the table when Killua began sucking in earnest. Oh god he felt like he was going to melt, hot pleasure fizzling up through his body, and how the hell was Killua being so damn quiet down there, blowjobs were noisy and messy, and why the fuck was the absolute quiet, the curious eyes on him from around the table, all so hot?

This was so wrong. And yet, his toes were curling, his stomach clenching and he knew his orgasm was going to hit him in record time.

His phone vibrated.

_Relax!_ read the message, and great so Killua could apparently give silent blowjobs _and_ text at the same time. Brilliant. He was learning more about his boyfriend in one night than he had in a long time.

"S-so," Gon said, smiling through clenched teeth and trying to hide the way his back was arching, the way he was leaning ever so slightly against the table to get closer to that devious mouth and the wet warmth it provided. He grasped for anything to talk about, his mind unusually blank, and eventually settled on, "I noticed a garden out front. It was very beautiful."

There was a moment of silence during which Gon thought he might want to sink into the floor and disappear, but then Killua's mother began chattering animatedly about her flowers and the different deadly uses of each.

He let out a little sigh, glad it had worked, and then attempted to keep eye contact with her and nod along with her words. It was a difficult task with Killua bobbing between his legs, teeth scraping ever so faintly against Gon's cock to send shivers up his spine and tongue wrapping around the head with deft dexterity. His thighs were beginning to shake, his breathing becoming labored and his entire body felt like a spring, ready to burst at any second.

The sound of a chair scraping the wooden floor made Kikyo pause in her words and Gon glance over at Illumi, who had stood suddenly. He hadn't said much during most of the dinner, but his dark eyes were fixed on Gon with the blankness that was unique to him.

Oh god. Oh my god. Did he know? He totally looked like he knew. Killua had been gone for ages now, he had to know oh fuck.

Illumi took a step towards him, one hand on the table, fingers brushing against the cloth that kept Killua hidden from view, and that was it, that's all Gon needed to tip himself over the edge, the threat of being found out making his blood pound and his heart race. His whole body convulsed, vision whitening out for half a second as his dick pulsed.

He barely reigned in his cry of Killua's name, turning it into a simple word rather than a sound of both ecstasy and horror (because what the fuck did he just come because of _Illumi_? No. Just…no.). When he was coherent enough to realize how that probably sounded he added on a quick, "h-he's been gone for a long time! I wonder if he's okay?"

Under the table Gon felt Killua lick the last of the cum off of him and then quickly and silently slip him back into his pants. Only a few seconds after his touch vanished, he was appearing in one of the doorways, looking casual and relaxed and way too damn pleased with himself. How the fuck did he do that.

"I heard my name," he said, retaking his place at the table and glancing at Gon sideways. "Hopefully you weren't saying anything bad about me?"

Illumi was still frozen in place, but after a second he moved to take his seat again as well.

From the other end of the table Grandpa Zeno laughed. "Not at all," he said, smile wide and somehow…knowing. "Just wondering where'd you gotten off to."

_Oh my god, _thought Gon, _he knows. They all know._

His dick gave a throb of interest, despite having just came, and Gon resisted the urge to drop his head against the table and groan. Of all the fucking kinks. Of all the places to discover them.


End file.
